Crazy days

Did you miss me?  I've been away for a couple of weeks.  There's plenty to tell.

K turned 17 and is ready to start driving lessons - gulp!

Exam results have been mixed.  More on these as and when I get more information as to why.

Father in law has been offered a flat in a sheltered housing complex.  As he lives 200 miles away and cannot pack for himself, I'll be clocking up frequent driver miles lending a controlling helping hand.  Any tips for keeping my sanity in amongst all the mayhem will be gratefully received.

Because of this, I am giving up on my temp job with the NHS.  As things stand in the medical world at the moment it is impossible to be physically in two places at once (don't get me started on mentally), so I can't be driving off to sort out FIL and be at my desk.  So the desk has to go (shame).  At least until the beginning of October.  After that will depend on how he settles.  He knows and loves the area so it should go smoothly.  But his health isn't good and will only get worse.  I've never imagined myself as a carer so this could get very interesting very quickly.  So if you see me out and about and I look haggard you'll know why.

The perennial question

It's heading towards that time of year again and A, being the caring, thoughtful husband that he is, has asked me what I want for my birthday.  As usual there are two sets of answers to this.  One runs to 'ha ha, stop kidding around' things like finish revampin en-suite, a new kitchen, a 'no snoring ever again' medication so we can share a bed every night (ok, so this isn't kidding around but no-one has invented one yet), my very own Ferrari 360 F1 Modena (with flappy paddle gear box), or a sprawling house in the country with acres of land between me and my next door neighbours ('cos I'm the sociable sort, you know).  The other usually goes something like 'dunno, nothing's really took my fancy'.  This is not strictly true as there's always ONE thing that takes my fancy  ;-) but why wait till my birthday  hehehehe.

I'm after a new camera BUT as I know absolutely nothing about digital SLRs I am going to make a nuisance of myself at the camera club in September and see if the some of the boys will let me play with their toys.  The new camera will have to wait till next year some time.  It would be a VERY expensive mistake to get the wrong one.  (We are talking £500+ here so I need to be very sure I'm getting the best one for me).

So, I've settled for a serious session at a hairdressing salon.  The goody bag that I brought home from the Ball on Saturday had a 20% off voucher for somewhere that charges silly money (to me who would make Scrooge look profligate with money for things like clothes or hair) to do even the simplest of things.  I want a new style and some streaks of colour putting in.  Just the sort of thing to make me feel summery and cheerful.  It has to be low-maintenance as I don't have the time or the inclination to spend more than 10 minutes each day making it look presentable.  It would also have to look good whether I'm wearing shorts and a t-shirt or formal business wear.  Picky, picky, picky.

I've already shown the kids what I want and, between them, it comes in under budget.  Let's hope they remember.

Fats - the good, the bad and the downright ugly

Two posts in one day!  Scary, huh?

I know my blog is daily reading for thousands  a few of you, so here's my latest health warning.  (Or rather, my only one apart from be safe in the sun).  There was an article in The Times on Saturday, in their Weekend supplement (I can't link to it as they expect you to pay these days), concerning trans-fats and their closely related cousins hydrogenated fats.  Apparently these are the seriously bad boys of the fat family, being blamed for the dramatic increase in levels of heart disease, certain cancers, strokes and diabetes.  These are only the things we know about at the moment; this list may well grow over the next few years.

Now I'm normally quite sceptical about government advice on what is bad for me to eat, but if you could read this article you would see that our government, unlike the US, aren't saying much about banning these fats.  In fact, the UK Food Standards Agency thinks that legislation would be "unlikely to deliver any significant health benefit" as our intake levels are "approximately half that of recommended levels".  Hmmm, the government want us all to eat healthily, lose weight, get more exercise, reduce type 2 diabetes and heart disease, yet there's no reason to bring in legislation to ban the stuff.

Over in the States, whole areas have outlawed these fats in restaurants, whilst in California (ever the extremist on the health front) has intoduced a state-wide ban.  Any food manufacturer who wants to keep their market share over there has removed it from their products.  Are you outraged yet?

Trans-fats are made by processing polyunsaturated fats.  These types of fat are runny at room temperature and quickly go rancid.  By adding hydrogen to them - no you're not getting a complicated chemistry lesson on how this happens, it just does OK - their structure is altered and they become partially hydrogenated vegetable oil.  This gunk can be found in many processed foods including, but not limited to, popcorn, chips, cakes, biscuits.  If you want to avoid it, and who wouldn't, look for products that are labelled 'all butter', or are made with a different fat.  You should avoid anything that has 'vegetable fat', 'shortening', 'margarine' or 'partially hydrogenated vegetable oil/fat' in the list of ingredients.

So that's the ugly out the way.  The bad could be attached to saturated fats, and until recently it was.  Although it still shouldn't be consumed in great quantity it is less harmful than trans-fats.  Saturated fats can be found in goods such as milk, butter, meat, some nuts and cocoa butter.

The good fats are the unsaturated fats, both poly- and mono-.  Poly-unsaturated fats are the omega-3s and omega-6s.  The ideal balance is 3 x 3s to 1 x 6s.  Polys can be found in seeds, nuts and oily fish.  If these aren't prominent in your diet it might make sense to take a supplement.  Monos can be found in avocado, olive oil, eggs and lamb, amongst other things.  Here at Dark Corner we do all our stir-fries in olive oil.

I've already discussed it with he who thinks he's boss (unless it's Sunday when it IS his turn) and I've bought some butter today, along with a butter dish - a proper pot one.  All I need now is to work out if I can fry chips in olive oil, or whether sunflower oil is ok.  Don't anyone mention oven chips, not unless you can recommend ones that taste like the real thing instead of cardboard/sawdust sweepings.

I hope you all find this of some use.

This working woman's lot is not a happy one

I feel worn out.  It's not tiredness - as in could fall asleep anywhere.  It's a total loss of energy/go/drive (call it what you will).  Let me give you a bit of history to help put it all in context.

 I last worked outside the home full-time in June 1991, which is when I quit to be A's company secretary - aka money for nothing much.  Since then I have done the full-time housewife/mother routine, and let no one tell you that it is the easy option.  You work just as hard but don't get paid.  Then in April 2004 I started home educating D and we were joined, in October 2005, by K.  Our life had a certain routine - certain activities happened on certain days, etc.  Then in September 2009 I had no kids 'at home'.  They were both at college.  I was left to find a new role.  I dabbled at finding a job but my heart wasn't really in it.  A couple of friends suggested I take up a local job agency's advert for exam invigilators.  After all, I was doing it for free for the local home education group.  This led to odd days of basic admin work.  Then, the NHS job came along.

I was originally sent in for 3 hours a day for 3 days.  No problem.  The money wasn't as much as I'd earned previously but it would be a new experience.  That was in early February this year and I'm STILL there, doing 4 full days per week (the 5th day being at college doing AAT).  Suddenly I had to find time to do the housewife/mother stuff.  The kids are helpful but pretty much only when told what needs to be done.  And, for the most part, the same can be said about A.  Admittedly he's finally worked out how to use the washing machine - assuming he remembers to do any - but he's never voluntarily dusted or hoovered (dust allergy so unfair to expect it), cleaned the bathroom, ironed, taken on the weekly shop (unless I am not in a fit state, when I usually go for a delivery service), made sure the kids are doing their chores properly (ok, maybe occasionally but usually when I have nagged him to make an effort); and hardly ever worried about things like making sure we are ready for Christmas, birthdays, etc.

Some people were quick to point out that he works SO hard and I (until February) was at home all day, so therefore it was my job to do all that.  And I did it all with barely a moan.  But now I WORK TOO.  And to be honest it just feels like if I don't ask someone to do something then no-one else but me can see it needs to be done.

In recent times (the past few years) I have been having a few issues with my memory and processing - things  slipping my mind, and using the wrong word or getting them the wrong way round - and things have been getting worse in the past year or so.  Stress seems to make it worse.  I've had a few stressors at work lately.  A suggests that if work is getting me like that I should quit.  Now, I know he means that exactly as he says it, but there is a part of me that wonders if his subconscious would then feel less guilty about relying on me to remember everything/notice everything that needs doing.  He'd deny it, and I'd feel bad about accusing him of this; honest, it's just me feeling a misery guts.  A has never been any good at remembering things.  I know that but my issues are getting to the stage where I can't be trusted either, and I can feel myself getting more worked up trying to make sure that I don't forget things (because A is bloody useless at it).

Hands up who can see who's going to deal with the lion's share (or even all of it) of when FIL moves down here.  And keep those hands up if you think that, whilst I'm up in Nottingham sorting that end out, bugger all housework-type stuff gets done down here.

What a lovely weekend

The weather was warm and sunny.  Not sure if I've had a skin breakout - probably, but let me kid myself for just a few weeks more, eh?

We got a load of jobs done in the garden.  I had 2 wonderful labourers.  They did a lot of lifting and breaking (old terracotta plant pots to make drainage chips for my new planters).  K & I filled said planters and planted seeds in them.  A then set up the watering system.  Fingers crossed, we will have loads of vegetables.

Yesterday A & I went down to the sea front.  There were lots of yachts out doing their thing, and one whose owners were enjoying the view.

Today, whilst not strictly the weekend, I was up at 7.00, in Makro by 8.15 and home by 9.10 to put the second load of washing out.  Then I put away all my Makro shopping, tidied the cupboards under the sinks in the bathrooms, hoovered the stairs, and hoovered and tidied the big cloak cupboard by the back door.  By 11.30 the third load of washing was out.

Then I decided it was ME time so got out the camera and played with some of the settings.

Not the best news

Remember this post?  Well, Susan got her results yesterday and her IBC is back.  Why not go over to her blog and learn more about this most aggressive form of breast cancer, and give her a virtual hug at the same time.

Army of Women

Are you, or do you know of, someone who has been affected by breast cancer?  Maybe you don't but would still like to 'get your hands dirty' helping out with research into the causes of this killer.  If one of these fits you, go to the Army of Women website and register.

They're a research group looking for volunteers for studies into the causes and treatments of breast cancer.  At the moment the vast majority of the studies are based in the US.  However, they are looking to expand round the world so spread the word.  This nasty disease kills thousands of women each year.  If we all did our bit, just think of how many lives would be postively affected by this - the women afflicted, their families and their friends.  Millions of people's lives would no longer be blighted.

Go on, you know you want to!

Hugs for a friend please

I've been following this blog for a couple of years now.  Susan had both breasts removed due to inflammatory breast cancer.  This past week she has had a PET scan - clever machine that shows up where lots of cellular activity is happening - due to pain and discomfort.  Six lymph nodes showed up.  It could be an infection or yet more cancer.

Go on over to her blog and give her a hug.

Can someone tell me why?

On Friday D was coming home from college on the bus when he got into a discussion with another college student (A - nothing to do with his name) over whether yet another student should sit down.

A: Sit down, will you
D: Maybe she doesn't want to sit down
A: Whoever said that can suck my d*ck
D (standing up to his 6' 2 height): Wanna say that again?
A grabs D up near the throat
D grabs A similarly ready to push him away, having the longer reach
A thumps D in the face, once
Queue stunned silence on the bus
A immediately realises the OTT of his actions and apologises

D makes it home with a badly bruised eye and cheek, a cracked lower middle tooth and a broken off leaving a third of the original length tooth.

(photos taken today, 2 days after.  On the top one yes that is more bruising between the eye and the ear.  The lower one shows the tooth after the temporary patch/rebuild - 2nd from right - now at two-thirds its original size)


The dental bill is likely to be £500 - £1000.  I think, as D is a full-time student, there'll be nothing to pay.  However, I'm wondering whether to send a copy of the paperwork to A and try to make him pay.

Some out there may think we're being soft by not involving the police but, and you KNOW how warped some of the police actions have become, we wonder whether D's "Wanna say that again?" comment may be construed as incitement.  Besides D is not interested in pursuing it.

Oh shit!

It's my blog and I'll swear if I want to!

At the weekend I learned that my baby brother - 8 years younger than me - has a dark mole that itches and that he's having it removed tomorrow.  It was very quick from him seeing his GP to seeing the specialist to getting the date for removal - 3 weeks as far as I can work out.  This is the first time he's ever had to deal with his skin going off on one.  Me, I live with it due to dysplastic naevus syndrome.  Click on the link and scroll down the page to the relevant bit, but humour me and read ALL the page.

So far, I haven't had the dreaded words "I'm sorry Mrs B but it's malignant" despite having 3 moles removed on the 'better safe than sorry' principle - mine not the dermatologist's.

If you have any spare prayers, positive vibes, or similar going I'm sure he and his family will appreciate it.  He has a wife and 2 young children.

Thanks muchly.

Harlie

Harlie is a sweet little girl who has so much going against her.  At birth she had only a 5% chance of surviving but she's still here, proving everyone wrong.  Her heart stopped during her latest surgery on Thursday but she was revived.  Please could you keep her in your thoughts.  Click on her name to read more about her.

Positive thoughts/vibes/prayers please

Whatever floats your boat.

For the past 4 weeks or so K has been suffering with eye pain, at first in the bone around the eye but lately also in the eye itself.  It got steadily worse and on the day she had a doctor's appointment she was sent home early as she had a bad headache and felt sick.  The doctor decided that she had a minor ear infection - they did look slightly pink down near the ear drum (yes I got a peek, without asking) - and a sinus infection (but K said he pressed so hard on the left maxiliary sinus it would have hurt anyway). 

One week of antibiotics later and we were back at square one.  So I made another appointment, this time with our own GP Dr D.  Unfortunately I was working so A had to take her.  K was also sent home again today, suffering from a bad headache.  On the plus side K's confidence is blooming and she was able to handle all the history taking herself - that and she is up-to-here with the pain and discomfort.  After much chat and testing Dr D said that he thought the most likely option would be migraine (A's mum and I have both been known to be floored by them), but he also wanted her to see our optician to check for visual defects and, particularly, glaucoma.  Strictly speaking, K is too young for this disease but occasional cases have been know.  She is also having increasing difficulty with blurring and focussing, though I'm not sure if that's all the time or just when the pains are playing up.  So we are off to see our eye man on Tuesday.  K has to take propranolol, a mild beta-blocker, for two weeks to see if that helps with the pain.  So far the answer is no but we'll keep going for the course to see if it needs to accumulate in the body.

If the optician can't find anything and the propranolol doesn't work then she gets referred to the opthalmology department at the local hospital.

Go figure

There was an interesting section in yesterday's Times (Weekend section) to do with alcohol and middle-class, middle-aged consumption, as in how we are all drinking too much too regularly - more than half a bottle a night apparently will lead to future health problems.

One particular article grabbed my attention.  You can find it here.  Those of you who know us will understand which bit grabbed me, those of you who don't will possibly find it interesting anyway.  I told my husband this relevant bit of the article - and no, I'm not going to enlighten you -  and those of you that know us will probably guess what he replied.  The reason he is still breathing is that he said it with a smile on his face.

FOR SALE

One body - although only half-way through its expected life span, this body is already failing its owner. 

The latest breakdown involves a sprained left ankle, causing the owner to have to rest with feet up when owner actually has a full day (hell, a full month so far - hence why there's been no blog posts recently) of life to lead.  Owner would be happy to exchange for one - size 12 - 14, full working order (apart from womb) with no hidden surprises, capable of dealing with life at full speed without needing hours of maintenance each week.

Recent breakdowns include:- sprained right ankle (August) which is about 90% fixed, dodgy skin which limits owner's sun exposure from Spring to Autumn, general tiredness (not enough hours in the day/week/life), achilles tendon/plantar fasciitis pain in both ankles/feet (October '08 to June '09), recurring headaches, constant catarrh (all year round).

Hence reasonable asking price of £0.00

Please register your interest in the comments section.  Form an orderly queue, no pushing now.  The lucky winner will be chosen at random.

Is there really a swine flu epidemic?

We all know that there are people out there who think anything above a slight sniffle must be the flu.  If I had £1 for every time I've heard someone say that they were off work for ONE DAY because they had the flu I'd be rich.  Flu doesn't lay you out for just one day.  Trust me, it can put you out of it for a week or more - I know, I've been there.

People exaggerate their symptoms and, given that, why did someone decide it would be wonderful to turn the diagnosis of swine flu down to some website that asks such simple questions the diagnosis is seriously questionable. (Deep breath).    It gives you a list of a dozen or more symptoms and asks you to tick yes if you have 2 or more, or no if you don't.  These symptoms include: a headache, sore throat, blocked or runny nose, fever, earache, etc.  Now it doesn't take Einstein to work out that these symptoms can also indicate other infections besides our friend H1N1 - glandular fever, common cold, tonsilitis, ear infection, etc.  So how come if you have two of these this faceless, brainless website issues you with a prescription for Tamiflu?!

You're probably wondering how I know this.  My daughter K has been decidedly poorly since Sunday.  Yesterday afternoon her fever started to get higher.  She spent an uncomfortable night, swinging from freezing to boiling and back again.  This morning her fever had hit the magic 100 F.  By lunch time she was at 101 F.  I asked for advice from a local pharmacy this morning, where the nice ladies behind the counter decided that it sounded like possible glandular fever to them and that they thought a call to the GP was in order.  (You can see where this is going, can't you?).  Of course, Thursday afternoons our surgery closes so I waited till 4.00 to phone.  I'd barely mentioned some of her symptoms when the receptionist (who has NO medical training whatsoever) told me I needed to go to the Pandemic Swine Flu website and do their diagnostic quiz.  I didn't really get chance to tell her what the pharmacy had thought.

Surprise, surprise, given the above information, we now have a course of Tamiflu.  K now has to decide whether she'd rather feel as ill as she does or feel slightly better but run the risk of nausea, vomiting and nightmares (common side effects).  She's decided to wait till morning as she doesn't want to decide to take one tonight and then spend all night chucking up and disturbing the rest of us.

I'm not really sure about Tamiflu.  You're supposed to take it within 48 hours of the symptoms starting (K has been ill since Sunday, it's now Thursday), it shortens the length of suffering by a whole 24 hours (careful, don't get too excited), and it has wicked side effects which can make the sufferer feel worse than they already did (just what you look for in a medicine, eh!).  So why did I go and get it?  Well, this online diagnostic quiz gives you a special code number that is linked to the patient's name.  You can only get Tamiflu once, so I figured I might as well get it in and if she wants to take it she can.

Given the ease with which Tamiflu is given out, and therefore you MUST have swine flu, is it any wonder that the number of cases is rising.  At this time of year all sorts of germs are out and about, making people's life uncomfortable.  The vagueness of the questions mean that anyone with a cold will get Tamiflu and be chalked up as a swine flu statistic.

So tell me folks, is there really a swine flu epidemic?

Where does the time go?

Another month has gone sailing by!  A & I have had rotten colds, and they're still loitering in the background.  D has had a sniffle but seems to be coping fine.  K has just started with the first bout of sore throat/loss of voice and general cold symptoms of the winter.  All in all we're a grotty lot!!!!

I've also been busy making decisions and getting the next phase of my life planned - more in the next post.  It's been very strange, this transition from a HE parent to a not HE parent; it's almost like when they first went to school at 4 years old.  I have found it quite strange and a bit disconcerting to suddenly have the house to myself all day.  In fact it's so strange that I am usually out at least once a day, and I can count on one hand the number of weekday lunches I have had at home since 18th September.  Yes, that's right, I crave social interaction.  Best scrape yourselves off the floor now.  Fortunately I can usually find an accommodating friend or two or, failing that, I'm not afraid to eat alone - in between various errands.  Changes are afoot!

What a day!

Yesterday I went to London to see Jill in Bart's.  My bus ticket cost £18 return, a bargain (or so I thought).  What a palaver!!!!!  It took us from 8.50 till 10.25 to get from Fareham to Winchester, via Southampton Central and Southampton University.  Then we headed for Heathrow, and that takes some driving round these days.  Oh and they've replaced Concorde with an Emirates Airbus A380 (on the roundabout).

Afterwards we headed on the M4 into London.  All was well and good till we got to Hammersmith.  Then it was a lot of stop and a bit of start all the way to Hyde Park Corner.  By the time we made it to Victoria it was 13.08, 45 minutes late.  Now my return bus left at 17.50 so I didn't have much time to waste.  So I headed for Victoria tube station.

Now Victoria tube station is right next to Victoria train station, but both of these are a bit of a walk from Victoria bus station.  Then I had to get a ticket from the automated machines, and of course there was a queue!

I eventually got on to a tube and even got a seat after the next station.  I got off at Mansion House (Blackfriars would have been easier but it's closed till 2011) and, trusty map book in hand, made my way past St Paul's to Bart's.  Just to make life interesting I hadn't got a clue which ward Jill was in - never thought to ask her - and Bart's isn't great at making it easy.  I ended up phoning A in a state of fraughtness asking him to text me the ward phone numbers.

Eventually I found the right floor of the right building.  Of course I chose the wrong ward at first before getting it right.  Jill was asleep but I'd barely got in her room when she woke up.  She was very pleased to see me.  Her room was a little warm, though that could have been me after the panic of getting into London and then finding her.  We laughed and giggled, and chatted.

Then it was time for me to leave.  As I had an hour before my bus left I figured I could walk it back.  It didn't look far.  Down Giltspur Street to Ludgate Hill.  Along Fleet Street and Strand.  Into Whitehall to Parliament Square.  Then down Broadway and Victorial Street.  Well of course I just missed the bus!!!!  It was pulling out of the bus station as I was waiting to cross the road.  Cue much swearing.  That meant I would have to loiter around for a while before the next bus, plus pay for another ticket.  So, being tired and weary and bloody fed up, I caught the tube back to Westminster, walked to Waterloo, where a train to Portsmouth left in 10 minutes.  And this is where my day finally improved.  It was the express service, so I was in Havant (where A came to fetch me) and then home before the bus I missed had made it into Fareham.  Needless to say I slept well last night.

Next time I am definitely going by train.  I don't care how much it costs! 

And so it goes on

I had an appointment this morning at the dermatology clinic for a review of my polymorphic light eruption (PLE) and a check on how the UV desensitisation was going. A came with me as his memories of the last couple of summers are different to mine - one of us is obviously getting Alzheimers LOL!

Before we went I had more or less decided to take next year off the desensitising just to see how effective it had been. Last year I had the treatment in the narrowband UVB machine, starting early February and finishing early-mid March. I had my first proper break out on May 11th. Yes, I had been 'foolish' insofar as going around in warm, sunny weather without long sleeves or sun cream. When I reacted I was devastated. However it never got as bad as the previous year (pre-treatment). Yet as the summer went on I slowly but surely reverted to that previous year's sensitivity levels.

This year I had the treatment in the 'other' machine (UVA & UVB), starting early March and finishing just before Easter (mid April). I broke out on Whit Sunday. Again it was probably my own fault for sitting in my friend's garden (too hot in the house, it was a sauna-like day) for 4 hours. I sat under an umbrella as much as possible but it was probably asking for trouble really. That evening I felt exhausted (could be down to the alcohol consumed or not) and very spotty, and a little itchy. This year I'd been a bit more careful and not taken so many chances, so I was particularly put out that although the treatment had started a month later it had only bought me 2 weeks extra freedom. And, like last year, as the summer has progressed I have once again reverted to pre-treatment levels of sensitivity. In fact in August my skin got spotty just from putting the washing out (grump!).

This is why I'd like a year off treatment to see how next year goes. The weather is rather an important, and uncontrollable, variable but if going into Southampton 3 times a week for 5 weeks for 20 minutes at a time (from entering to leaving) is not really going to get me more than 6 weeks or so's freedom is it really worth it? I think not, especially as all that radiation treatment ('cos that's what UV is) could possibly upset one of my moles and turn it cancerous.

So, after having a good cry in front of the SHO this morning, I got a chat with Dr Ardern-Jones himself. He is having second thoughts on the diagnosis of PLE. I have got to provide samples of my pee and poo, AND have blood taken (needles!!!!!!) all on the same day - yes I HATES needles, but if having regular jabs would calm all this down I'd do it. Oh, and none of them can be exposed to light. I have to catch them in foil covered containers, otherwise they will be contaminated and not be testable - any bright ideas on a postcard please.

That lot will get sent away and tested, mainly for porphyria with some blood being tested for lupus. If that lot come back negative I get a trip to Amersham/High Wycombe for some in-depth screening - they have better kit than Southampton. I had a choice between there, Cardiff and London. If I was on my own I'd probably have opted for London but, as A was with me and will be taxi driver on the day, he chose that one. What would I do without him!

Of course, I've been researching these conditions and, although I have no training whatsoever and therefore should not tell an expert he's looking the wrong way, I think it seems more likely to be lupus - certainly fits better with some of the non-skin issues I've had in recent years. If it does turn out to be porphyria (and there are 7 to choose from), please can it be one of those that doesn't have liver involvement. Me, no booze ever again?! Yeah, right.

A lull in the storm

My friend Jill has iris melanoma - skin cancer in the eye. Yes you really can get it in the eye, search for it on the 'Net and see. She goes to a place in Gosport, HARBOUR CANCER SUPPORT GROUP, for a cuppa and a natter with people who understand her fears and she also gets free alernative therapies (donations gratefully received).

Jill goes into hospital tomorrow, ready for an operation on Wednesday, in London, to sew a radioactive disc into her eye to kill the tumour. She wanted to raise funds for the Support Group as, after 3 years, their lottery grant has run its course. As her house is quite small, and neither of us being sure a) when her surgery would be and b) if she would be having a good day or a bad day, we decided to hold the Open House/All-day Coffee morning here at mine. I printed loads of flyers and posters, and roped the kids into delivering them.

On Wednesday I shopped for the ingredients for some nice puds, cakes, and savoury nibbles. The kids and I spent Wednesday afternoon making sponge cakes and quadruple chocolate brownies (recipe shamelessly nicked from ITV). On Thursday after the chaos of getting exam results, we got stuck into making savouries - creamy ham puffs, and pitta crisps - and a rather nice chocolate, toffee and peanut torte (a little heavy on the peanut butter but nice). By 9pm I'd gone way past the end of my tether so A kidnapped me from the kitchen and forced me into the hot tub, pressganging the kids into finishing off and tidying up.

Friday dawned bright and early, I was up by 7.15 rearranging furniture and wondering how I was going to get everything done before the start time of 10.30. My kids were stars. They got up early, got fed and dressed without too much nagging, and got on with making some dips - hot broccoli, and creamy sun-dried tomato - whilst I went to Jill's to pick her up, as well as her youngest child. We didn't get as many guests as I'd hoped but we did manage to raise about £50! And of course I'd catered for too many so the 3 gannets that I live with have had plenty of pudding options this weekend. Another friend of mine came round with a bottle of fizz, so once it got to a civilised time (7pm) we cracked it open and proceeded to 'relax'. Slept well that night.

Anyway, if I could ask you to do whatever it is you do to mentally/spiritually offer good fortune to someone in need of it, please remember my friend Jill. Her cancer shouldn't be terminal, but she will need positive thoughts to deal with the pain and discomfort her operation will bring for a few weeks.

Thanks, friends!

And this week promises to be equally manic as tomorrow I have to take K to finalise college arrangements, plus pop into Harbour Support, plus pick up Jill's youngest for a couple of nights sleepover here; Wednesday I have the derm clinic for my skin (more on that soon); Thursday is the start of the Home Ed group at the hall, I am now Treasurer; Friday is a deep breath kind of day until going out in the evening with friends; Saturday, all things being well I am off to London, maybe with Jill's middle child, to visit her in hospital.

Swine Flu

My SIL has just been confirmed as having swine flu, having caught it from a co-worker last week. Fingers crossed (prayers, positive vibes - whatever floats your boat) that it doesn't pass on to other members of the family. Her daughter H has asthma and my Mum has heart issues (remnants of rheumatic fever from her childhood) so both are on the 'at greater risk' list.

Because of this we won't be going up to visit next week for our annual 'cheap' holiday. D is also asthmatic, though you wouldn't know it to see him, and therefore doesn't really need to catch it either.

My heart goes out to those who are losing loved ones to this virus. Not to belittle their loss, but more people die on this country's roads each day and we don't get our undies in a knot about that and start avoiding driving do we. Which brings me round to just what IS worth getting into a panic over. I dunno. I suppose driving (and it's inherent dangers) is an acceptable risk, something we accept whenever we turn the ignition key. It's a choice we make. However to be infected by a potentially fatal virus by someone who is 'toughing it out' is not something we can easily avoid. And I think that is the difference between the two - CHOICE!

So we choose not to get any closer to the virus than we strictly have to, and seeing as I had a particularly rotten bout of flu over Christmas I think I am justified in not wanting to feel that ill again for a year or ten.