Is there really a swine flu epidemic?

We all know that there are people out there who think anything above a slight sniffle must be the flu.  If I had £1 for every time I've heard someone say that they were off work for ONE DAY because they had the flu I'd be rich.  Flu doesn't lay you out for just one day.  Trust me, it can put you out of it for a week or more - I know, I've been there.

People exaggerate their symptoms and, given that, why did someone decide it would be wonderful to turn the diagnosis of swine flu down to some website that asks such simple questions the diagnosis is seriously questionable. (Deep breath).    It gives you a list of a dozen or more symptoms and asks you to tick yes if you have 2 or more, or no if you don't.  These symptoms include: a headache, sore throat, blocked or runny nose, fever, earache, etc.  Now it doesn't take Einstein to work out that these symptoms can also indicate other infections besides our friend H1N1 - glandular fever, common cold, tonsilitis, ear infection, etc.  So how come if you have two of these this faceless, brainless website issues you with a prescription for Tamiflu?!

You're probably wondering how I know this.  My daughter K has been decidedly poorly since Sunday.  Yesterday afternoon her fever started to get higher.  She spent an uncomfortable night, swinging from freezing to boiling and back again.  This morning her fever had hit the magic 100 F.  By lunch time she was at 101 F.  I asked for advice from a local pharmacy this morning, where the nice ladies behind the counter decided that it sounded like possible glandular fever to them and that they thought a call to the GP was in order.  (You can see where this is going, can't you?).  Of course, Thursday afternoons our surgery closes so I waited till 4.00 to phone.  I'd barely mentioned some of her symptoms when the receptionist (who has NO medical training whatsoever) told me I needed to go to the Pandemic Swine Flu website and do their diagnostic quiz.  I didn't really get chance to tell her what the pharmacy had thought.

Surprise, surprise, given the above information, we now have a course of Tamiflu.  K now has to decide whether she'd rather feel as ill as she does or feel slightly better but run the risk of nausea, vomiting and nightmares (common side effects).  She's decided to wait till morning as she doesn't want to decide to take one tonight and then spend all night chucking up and disturbing the rest of us.

I'm not really sure about Tamiflu.  You're supposed to take it within 48 hours of the symptoms starting (K has been ill since Sunday, it's now Thursday), it shortens the length of suffering by a whole 24 hours (careful, don't get too excited), and it has wicked side effects which can make the sufferer feel worse than they already did (just what you look for in a medicine, eh!).  So why did I go and get it?  Well, this online diagnostic quiz gives you a special code number that is linked to the patient's name.  You can only get Tamiflu once, so I figured I might as well get it in and if she wants to take it she can.

Given the ease with which Tamiflu is given out, and therefore you MUST have swine flu, is it any wonder that the number of cases is rising.  At this time of year all sorts of germs are out and about, making people's life uncomfortable.  The vagueness of the questions mean that anyone with a cold will get Tamiflu and be chalked up as a swine flu statistic.

So tell me folks, is there really a swine flu epidemic?