NEWSFLASH

This blog will now continue here.  There will be no more posts at this site.

Changes are afoot

I could have blogged about my daughter trying to break her toe/foot by kicking my college bag but there's no point as this is not an unusual occurrence - she is dyspraxic and her propioception is a little off.

I could have blogged about starting back at college but, although it's all new stuff for me this year, it's just as easy as last year - so far.

I could have blogged about father-in-law's (FIL) move down to be near us and the extra workload on us but I won't because most of the issues are to do with his health rather than the bureaucracy and, therefore, personal.

This extra workload means I have even less time to keep 3 blogs running, as you will no doubt have noticed by the shortage of posts on any of them this month.  Therefore I intend to amalgamate them all into one blog.  This is very much a work-in-progress as I have yet to decide which of the 3 titles to keep, and which of the blog-hosting sites to use.  Each has their pluses and minuses.  So, it will be a week or so before I get to it.

I do have a new hobby that is eating into my spare time.  I've switched off the AUTO functions on my camera and am learning to do-it-myself.  This is a lot of fun, especially when friend J comes with me and we spend time over tea/coffee and cake going through the day's efforts.  So, I'm going to end this post with some of the shots I took on Wednesday at Swanwick Nature Reserve.

More crazy days

The last couple of weeks have seen us running about the country - to Nottingham, place of us grownups birth - on family business.  Father in Law has been offered a sheltered flat in Park Gate, after being on the local council waiting list since March.  So, two weeks ago, we had to go up to Nottingham to fetch him to have a look at it.

Fortunately he approved, so the council and the Housing Association whose property it is have also been busy getting the paperwork filled in.  Last weekend (a bank holiday) I took him back to Nottingham to start packing and generally closing his life down up there.  K came with me to help, and came back with some new bruises due to failing to use the door way as an entrance to a building.  Dyspraxia rules!

We then spent all week packing up what he wants to bring with him, and taking piles of rubbish and old magazines/newspapers up to the tip.  There's still plenty of tip work for us and a few more things to bring down but that will happen over the next few weeks.  On Thursday I realised that K was due on scout camp at Thorpe Park this weekend (as in the following day).  Needless to say, it didn't happen.  I sent many apologies to the leader and explained what had happened.  K wasn't overly distressed, especially after I promised her a day out at half-term to make up for being a sieve-head.

Father in Law seems to live 'in the now', with very little sense of urgency to plan ahead or remember chronology, so it has been very interesting.  I left him a pile of paperwork to sort through and file - even bought a file and plastic baggies for him - but I ended up chucking it all in a box yesterday.  Then, yesterday, he starts deciding what he'd like packing from upstairs.  He's had all flippin' week to tell me that but waits till the van's outside (driven up from here by A, accompanied by D) and nearly all full.  Minor grrrrr.

Once the van was loaded, and an early lunch was had, we all set off back down here.  I tell you, my car could do the journey without any input from me; it's certainly done it an awful lot this year as we tried to sort him out.  Father in Law slept most of the way down, and most of the time since he's been here.

Today we are moving into his new place.  K & I have a hot date at Curves first thing - they're starting their weight management classes today so we can't put it off - then we'll head back; by which time most of the heavy lifting will be done and A will be done in.

We have to go and order/buy a new fridge/freezer for Father in Law.  He assures me he bought it in the 60's, except that a) I know that style didn't exist then, and b) A can remember it being bought when he was about ready for secondary school (late 70's).  Either way it was in no fit state to be taken anywhere but the tip.  There was rancid milk accumulating on the bottom and going a lovely shade of blue, the drain pipe at the back was black with gunk, and it really needed a good scrub.  It also stank.  And don't get me started about the bag of cabbage that had turned to a vile, green liquid.  Father in Law says he has no sense of smell and I believe him.

Before anyone berates us for letting things get that bad for him, it wasn't through lack of effort on our part.  Up until the past 6 months or so we have been told politely but firmly to 'butt out'.  There's not a lot you can do about that without alienating him completely.  Six months ago he decided that he couldn't cope any more and that he thought he was becoming a bit forgetful (we'd been noticing it for a few years).  Since then we have been making enquiries, plans, and generally scheming to sort him out.  The local council here were happy to put him on their waiting list for somewhere suitable.  I am organising an Occupational Therapist assessment to see what else 'adaptive' he'll need to make life easier - I'm hoping to get a Dementia Screening person in at the same time so he doesn't twig on.  There will be plenty of home-made food in his freezer, and he WILL eat it - another issue caused by poor memory and chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (too tired and breathless to eat) - as he hasn't got to walk far or use stairs to get to the kitchen any more.  I will also be taking care of the laundry, making sure the pots are washed properly and the place is clean

Life is about to get a whole lot more busy for us.  I'm hoping we'll see an improvement in his general health or, at least, a slowing in the decline of it.

When I got home yesterday there was a letter from the local college, where I'm going to do the Level 3 AAT qualification.  Basically it was a 'you can get your course books from us on these dates, oh and by the way there was a mistake in the brochure.  Your course day is a Thursday, not a Tuesday'.  The brochure came out in June and it takes them till the beginning of September to tell us that we're coming on a different day.  It's a good job I don't have other, unavoidable, plans for Thursdays, or have childcare to sort out.  I've had issues before with this college's admin 'skills' but this is just pathetic.

Don't be fobbed off - teachers DON'T always know best.

About 10 or so years ago I was told by my two's primary school teachers that a) D needed to write more, that he was bright enough but letting himself down by not writing enough, possibly lazy, and b) K was a daydreamer who could write more if she didn't spend so much time staring into space.  Both kids were working at above 75% of the rest of the class so there was NO possibility of any special needs - ok, so you can see where this is going, eh.

Fast forward to 5 years or so ago, and after a year or two of home educating one or both of them the penny dropped that all wasn't well.  I had many rows with D about his 'laziness'.  In the end I took my concerns to my GP who referred us on to the community paediatrician - who complained that he was 'too old'.  Maybe if school had said that things needed investigating then we would have been there years earlier, but hey I'm only a parent who expected the school to KNOW if things were a bit off.

D ended up with a diagnosis of dyspraxia (general motor clumsiness) and dysgraphia (issues with the mechanics of writing).  We've since added some dyslexia to the mix as his spelling and pronunciation can be interesting/unique.  He's happy as he has an Educational Psychologist (EP) report giving him permission to use a laptop in class and exams plus 25% extra time in exams.

K can be quite jealous of D getting my attention so at the time all his diagnostic work was going on I got a book out the library and read out some of the possible SpLD (Specific Learning Difficulties - not to be confused with learning disabilities) that were going on with him to help her understand why he needed my attention at that time.  At one point I read out about Irlen Syndrome - where the written word flies around the page, rather than keeping still - and she said "You mean, writing doesn't fly around the page for you?"  The poor girl thought it was normal for this to happen so, of course, she'd never mentioned it.  Cue a visit to the optician for some colorimetry testing (using different colour lenses till you find out which colour makes the writing stay still) and £100+ for the right pair of glasses.  Not long after, I took her out of school as she wasn't coping with changing classrooms and the work load.

K has always been 'different'.  Even now I'm not sure which planet she's on but it's not always this one.  Her take on reality is not typical either but she tries hard to stay in this one - when it becomes too much, look out!  Anyway, K found cursive writing too hard.  All those flicks and ticks to get in the right place, especially when you have to work out how to join it to the next letter in the word.  So, once she was out of school, I 'made' her print instead.  She was much happier, and even more so when I passed her my laptop and told her to do it that way.  She thought we were cheating till I told her I'd rather she'd be able to edit it till it looked right without any 'messy' comments that her teachers were happily doling out.  Besides, who'd know.  Plus her confidence needed a boost, and the ability to produce good, neat work was important to us all.

K also qualified for 25% extra time and the use of a PC/laptop in exams.  This enabled her to get a C at Cambridge IGCSE English (similar to the old English Language O-Level in content) a year early.  I only entered her to give her a taste of what was required.  We were all gobsmacked with her result.  By 16 she had added Edexcel IGCSE Chemistry (C), Edexcel GCSE Maths (A) and OCR GCSE Biology (C) to her tally and off she went to college, full of nerves (lots of people) and high expectations (AS's in Double Science, Philosophy and ICT).  She soon made friends and her confidence and self-esteem grew.

I'd pre-warned the college's Learning Support Unit (LSU) as to what to expect.  They were willing to help her with support in and out the classroom, essay writing workshops, etc.  Unfortunately K decided that she was fine and didn't need the help.  In January K had a full EP assessment done which she told me suggested dyslexia and dyspraxia - no mention of the Asperger Syndrome which I suspected might be in there somewhere.  At parents evening her teachers gave me the impression that whilst she wasn't A grade material, she wasn't totally useless either.  Unfortunately her AS results brought her crashing down to Earth big time (an E and 2 U's).

So I have spent the last week holding her and drying her tears.  She was ready to quit college because she was stupid (something I hadn't heard in a while).  To be honest I was very worried about her, hence another reason it has been quiet on here.  On Tuesday of this week she had her course choice morning at college.  Whilst she was in the hall having some lecture or other (Welcome back, here's how to fill in your UCAS stuff, etc) I collared the head of LSU and asked if I could see K's EP report as I hadn't had a copy.  She said that Kshould have had a copy to give me but for whatever reason I never saw it.  Anyway, we sat and went through it (I have my copy now) and it was a real eye opener.  K's verbal and non-verbal skills are up above 90% (as in 90% of people her age are equal or worse than her).  Her processing skills (as in what her brain does with the information she reads/hears) is 2% (as in 98% of people her age are better than her at processing the information).  That is one hell of a discrepancy - in fact, less than 1% of the population would have this size defecit.  Bl**dy H*ll!!!

It's no wonder she made such a bad job of her exams.  To be fair to the college the LSU are not allowed to frogmarch needy students into extra support, unlike at school where they can (but getting them to admit there's a problem in the first place is damn near impossible if you're smart with it).  As it was explained to me recently, if you are predicted C's then schools won't bother as you're hitting the league table requirement.  It's only if you are predicted D's/high E's will they make an effort to boost you to the magic C and that all important tick in the 5 A* - C box in the charts.

We are currently researching assistive software/hardware that will enable K to get the most from her next 2 years at college.  She needs something(s) to help her organise her written work (intro, middle, end), take notes in class (dictaphone, pre-made notes from the teacher, notetaker in class), make sure she has correctly interpreted what she is supposed to be doing (class assistant, follow-up in LSU), and honest feedback from her class teachers instead of "oh, she's lovely".  K has totally changed her courses.  Now she is doing a Level 3 BTEC in IT (continuous assessments that she can re-write to improve) and AS Photography (she's decent with a camera but time will tell whether she's arty-farty enough).  Both teachers are aware of her individual needs - one of the teachers is dyslexic too so says she understands (we'll see) - so I'm hoping that things will be better.

The college has a policy that for each subject you drop you have to replace it.  The double award Applied Science counts as 2 courses so she was expected to replace it with 2 new AS's.  The head of LSU and I both agreed that, for K, this was NOT an option.  The head of LSU said that if the curriculum management team wouldn't budge then she would play the disability discrimination card and to send them to her if they were awkward.  Needless to say, all is now well for K and she has replaced 4 AS's with the equivalent of 3 AS's plus plenty of time in the LSU for dyslexia assistance/confidence building/essay skills/show us what you're doing and we'll make sure you're on the right path help/etc.

The EP report suggests possible assistive stuff and we are looking to try before we buy.  I'm also hoping the LSU might have some to play with.  Now I've had time to digest the report I'll be contacting the head of LSU to see if I can get an appointment for a week on Tuesday (K has to go in to get her bus pass/timetable/etc) so that we can start the ball rolling on some of this stuff.  I've looked it up on the internet and some of it seems a very good idea - shame it's so darned pricey, which is why I want to get K to try it first.  If it really is going to benefit her she can have it, I'll make the necessary sacrifices, but I'm not forking out hundreds of pounds to find it doesn't help her.

So ladies and gentlemen, should you find yourself in the position I found myself in all those years ago - kids aren't producing the work at an appropriate level/volume but are very clever and therefore can't possibly have special needs (according to the teachers) - make sure you get them assessed.  Fight the school, LA, go to your GP.  Whatever you do, don't think that the teachers know what they're talking about.

I feel that, in a way, I wasted the 4 years K was home educated as I didn't push a lot of dyslexia therapy at her.  With D, all he needed was an alternative recording method (typing) and he was able to play on a level field.  With K, she needed more and I missed it!  Don't let guilt get you.

Crazy days

Did you miss me?  I've been away for a couple of weeks.  There's plenty to tell.

K turned 17 and is ready to start driving lessons - gulp!

Exam results have been mixed.  More on these as and when I get more information as to why.

Father in law has been offered a flat in a sheltered housing complex.  As he lives 200 miles away and cannot pack for himself, I'll be clocking up frequent driver miles lending a controlling helping hand.  Any tips for keeping my sanity in amongst all the mayhem will be gratefully received.

Because of this, I am giving up on my temp job with the NHS.  As things stand in the medical world at the moment it is impossible to be physically in two places at once (don't get me started on mentally), so I can't be driving off to sort out FIL and be at my desk.  So the desk has to go (shame).  At least until the beginning of October.  After that will depend on how he settles.  He knows and loves the area so it should go smoothly.  But his health isn't good and will only get worse.  I've never imagined myself as a carer so this could get very interesting very quickly.  So if you see me out and about and I look haggard you'll know why.

HOLIDAY!!!!

Before you all get excited I'm not actually departing Dark Corner for anywhere else.  We are staying at home and having some days out.  Today we went to Brighton & Hove (both bits).  A parked in Hove and we walked along the very nice promenade to Brighton.  Hove seems genteel and really unspoilt by the tourist tat, preferring to save that accolade for its sister town Brighton.  We found a nice little cafe in Brighton, The Bucket, where they make their burgers by hand from scratch.  A bit of a wait but well worth it for the taste.  The weather was very 'Mediterranean' with lots of sun and a blue sea, which looked very inviting. 

We then mooched around the shops for a while.  I managed to get A into an Ann Summers shop but we only looked at the lingerie.  Nothing really took our fancy.  Some of the phone shops have some appealing offers in right now.  We might investigate those this week.

On the way back we followed the A259 and passed through Worthing.  It also looks like somewhere we might like to visit for the day.  There was an interesting-looking restaurant that served Chinese, Japanese, Singapore, Malay, Thai, Indian & Italian cuisine.  That just about covers our family's culinary desires, so we will definitely give it a try.  I'll let you know the name and a review afterwards.

Later this week we intend to go over the the island (Isle of Wight) for another day trip.  In between all this galavanting around we will be doing more mundane things like finishing up in the garden (spray painting the shed and the rest of the fencing, moving a couple of bushes, taking out some ivy that is encroaching, reminding the clematis and the jasmine that it grows in THIS garden and not over the wall by the footpath, etc), making a start on getting rid of the carpet moths (not nice as they loosen the pile in your carpets, leaving bare patches - their favourite places are in the dark and rarely disturbed), and de-cluttering the study (just how many old PC towers can a man need?)

K & I will continue to fit in 3 visits to Curves each week.  Our exploits there can be followed at another one of my blogs.

Been a bit busy

Partying, that is!  The weekend saw a birthday here in Dark Corner so I saw it as my duty to give my liver a good workout.  It has now forgiven me.  A bought me a Bon Jovi DVD.  The jury is out as to whether I am in heaven or not.  The lip synch seemed a bit out in places, some of the instruments hit the odd wrong note, and Jon sounded more out of tune than in.  All in all, not the best DVD of theirs I own, and I own plenty.  We did wonder if it was recorded at the end of the tour (Madison Square Gardens 2008) and if they were all tour weary.  However, I did my best to make it rain, yodelling along to the tracks and thoroughly annoying the rest of the household.

Last week, friends of ours left to go home to the US (waves madly at Ann).  Hopefully they will soon find a house and life settles down again.  They'll be missed.

D goes on camp next weekend for a week.  Unfortunately K chose not to so we parents won't get as much peace as we deserve.  We are having the week off and will be alternating between de-cluttering the house and doing day trips.  We might head to the island for a day.

My parents came down for the weekend.  I now have a tidy back garden - thanks, folks.  I need to go and buy a job lot of slug pellets and growmore, as well as a bucket of long-acting weed killer for the patio and drive.

On the job front, my official finishing date is the end of August but, as per usual here, I may be needed a bit longer.  I'm not bothered either way but it'd be nice to have something concrete.  Oh the joys of being a temp!  I've applied for a few jobs but not heard anything back.

Roll on tomorrow.  No work for 2 weeks.  My job share fellow temp wanted to swap some days with me so I am working Monday - Wednesday this week.  Then I'm off next week before returning to my normal Wednesday - Friday the following week, so for 3 days off work I end up with 1 day short of two weeks not working.  Excellent!!!!!

Let them be bored

I know some of my readers are home-educators but there may be some of you out there who are dreading the next six weeks, having to listen to your little angels scream "I'm bored!!!" all day long.  Either that or they're making your life a misery because you won't take them to a theme park twice a week, as well as swimming, bowling, ice skating, a trip to the beach, and other money-consuming wants. 

Today's children seem to have the instant gratification bug, wanting everything today and more tomorrow.  To their parents I say this, did your parents do all that for you when you were a child or were you encouraged to make your own entertainment.  And that didn't mean being stuck in front of the TV (or in this age, a computer or game console) all day, every day either.  Tell your parents that you were bored and I'd lay odds on the response being "tough!" or "so what?".

If you are already wilting at the thought of keeping them entertained and amused all holidays without having to take out the mortgage required to cover all what they'd really like to do, I have a few suggestions.

• Let them be bored.  With a bit of luck they might actually (re)discover their imaginations and make up their own games.
• If they say they're bored, give them a household chore to do and make them do it.  Next time boredom strikes they'll either ask if they can help with anything (you can hope) or they'll have hated it so much they'll put more effort into finding something to do that's more fun.
• If they ask to go somewhere and you are willing to consider it, tell them that there are certain things around the house that need to be done first.  If they leave it all to you it will take too long and you won't be able to go.  If they help it will all be done very quickly and you'll have more time to spend doing that fun thing.
• Limit those big days out to one or two for the whole holiday.  They'll appreciate it so much more (eventually).
• Explain to them how much all these days out and activities cost and that you don't have all that money just lying around waiting for them to spend.

• If they're old enough suggest an 'entertainment budget' figure for them for the entire 6 weeks.  If they go and blow it all on a day out, DON'T GIVE THEM ANY MORE.  This is a life lesson about budgeting and will do them good in the long run when they start to live an independent lifestyle.  You are doing them no good whatsoever by encouraging them to think that what they want is the only thing worth spending money on.

A good number of children expect their parents to just hand over cash for anything, and unfortunately there are a good number of parents who do - whether that be from guilt for both parents working, or to keep the peace because of the temper outbursts that follow if the parents say no.  If this is your child, ask yourself how they learnt to kick up a fuss to make you give in.  That's right, it's because that is what you have been doing since they were tiny.  "Ah, it's not nice to see him/her so upset" so the child gets rewarded for making a scene.  Whereas if you had stuck to your guns when they were tiny they would now understand and accept that no means no.

This is not a dig at anyone in particular, but a kick up the backside that some parents need to remember that their children are just that, children, and that whilst their wishes will be considered, the FINAL say is the parents.

Who am I and what have I done with my real self?

For many years I have had little interest in my feminine side.  Hair has had to be functional - wash, a quick blast with the hair dryer, brush, and go - and clothing has had to be comfortable - and stuff the 'fashion' of the season.  So it is with some shock and excitement that I find myself becoming more interested in the clothes side.  The hair still has to fit those criteria so I am going to get my hair cut shorter and have some highlights put in.

Clothes, however, are beginning to intrigue me.  Today I even caught myself looking at skirts and dresses.  Earlier in the week I was contemplating shaving my legs for the VERY FIRST TIME!!  I haven't plucked up the courage yet but I think I might have to if I'm going to wear more feminine attire.  I've got the shaver; my armpits get a short back and sides every so often.  This is increasing as I have a new shaver that doesn't pinch and nick.  I also have had a re-fit at M&S - and I hope the upcoming exercise and weight loss regime takes a bit off the cup size.

I've been told what colours are good for me, and they certainly seem to work for me.  These are the summer colours - fuchsia pink, purple, teal, and things like that.  I have to avoid earthy tones, including orange and terracotta.

Maybe it's a midlife crisis.

What I did today

I went clothes shopping with Ros.  The original spec was to find a 'business' top to go with my black jacket and trousers.  We eventually (read several shops later) found some nice tops but realised that the jacket's cut and style just wasn't 'me'.  Coincidentally in that same shop there were some lovely purple short coats which, although outside what I was looking to pay, was absolutely perfect.  We ummed and ahhed over lunch then went back and bought it, along with 3 nice workwear t-shirts for £12.  Then we decided to look for a simple business-style white blouse.  Do you know how hard it is to find one?!  We drew a blank.

Ros told me she thought I was 'summer' colours and after trying some of them on today, I have to agree.  These are nice bright pinks, purples, certain reds and blues and a little bit of black.  I'm to avoid orange tones.

Also, what is it with the sizing of clothes.  In Bon Marche I needed size 16, which was one heck of an ego boost.  In Peacocks I would have needed a size 20!!  Tell me girls, which place would you rather shop in?  Right, the one that allows you to wear the smaller size.  So I shan't be going to Peacocks again in a hurry.

Another first

My daughter's first love is now, as of this week, her first ex - which explains why she has moped around the house in her pj's all week.  She is a little upset about it and has had a cry in my arms.  Now she's downstairs eating my best chocolate (with my permission) and watching Harry Potter (No.6, I think) with her Dad.

The perennial question

It's heading towards that time of year again and A, being the caring, thoughtful husband that he is, has asked me what I want for my birthday.  As usual there are two sets of answers to this.  One runs to 'ha ha, stop kidding around' things like finish revampin en-suite, a new kitchen, a 'no snoring ever again' medication so we can share a bed every night (ok, so this isn't kidding around but no-one has invented one yet), my very own Ferrari 360 F1 Modena (with flappy paddle gear box), or a sprawling house in the country with acres of land between me and my next door neighbours ('cos I'm the sociable sort, you know).  The other usually goes something like 'dunno, nothing's really took my fancy'.  This is not strictly true as there's always ONE thing that takes my fancy  ;-) but why wait till my birthday  hehehehe.

I'm after a new camera BUT as I know absolutely nothing about digital SLRs I am going to make a nuisance of myself at the camera club in September and see if the some of the boys will let me play with their toys.  The new camera will have to wait till next year some time.  It would be a VERY expensive mistake to get the wrong one.  (We are talking £500+ here so I need to be very sure I'm getting the best one for me).

So, I've settled for a serious session at a hairdressing salon.  The goody bag that I brought home from the Ball on Saturday had a 20% off voucher for somewhere that charges silly money (to me who would make Scrooge look profligate with money for things like clothes or hair) to do even the simplest of things.  I want a new style and some streaks of colour putting in.  Just the sort of thing to make me feel summery and cheerful.  It has to be low-maintenance as I don't have the time or the inclination to spend more than 10 minutes each day making it look presentable.  It would also have to look good whether I'm wearing shorts and a t-shirt or formal business wear.  Picky, picky, picky.

I've already shown the kids what I want and, between them, it comes in under budget.  Let's hope they remember.

Common sense is beginning to prevail

I was going to post yesterday about the Wrestling World Cup Final except that Blogger wouldn't let me in for some reason.  As most of the world has already commented on it I won't waste time.

Instead I'll turn my attention to this.  The Financial Services Authority (FSA) is considering banning self-certification mortgages.  About time too!!  When these 'modern' mortgages were announced a few years ago I said that it would all end in tears.  I mean, where is the sense in lending people hundreds of thousands of pounds without them having to prove they can pay it back? 

The 'old-fashioned' multipliers were there for a reason.  They made sure that you had some money left to live on after paying the mortgage AND made sure you could continue to afford the payments if the interest rates rose.  These days people have mortgages that they can barely afford, let alone heat their property and feed themselves.  I don't know what they're going to do when interest rates do rise again - and they will.  A rise of 0.5% is going to catch a lot of people out and start a whole raft of repossessions.  When we got our first mortgage interest rates were about 10%. We asked our advisor to work out what the repayments would be if rates rose to 15%, something he said wouldn't happen.  Well it did, and we could still afford it (just).

Look at what has happened to energy and food prices in the last couple of years.  Prices have rocketed, beyond what most people (experts and jo public alike) would have expected.  It isn't just the traditional poor and/or working class who are having to decide whether to eat or heat their home.  This is spreading upwards through the other social classes too.  I wonder if this is what Labour meant by 'social mobility'.

More sensible mortgage lending will have a downward impact on house prices as less people can get a mortgage to afford the current silly prices; though there may be an increase in price as less people can afford to move (supply and demand at work).  Hopefully, prices will settle to levels that are affordable for our young people.   

Let's look at an example.  Average starting salaries for graduates are between £20,000 and £25,000 (and assume that those without a degree will have an average start of much less).  The average price for a one bedroom shared ownership flat (part buy-part rent) seems to be about £40,000.  Owning your flat outright averages at about £100,000.  This would be unaffordable to the graduate under the 'three times your salary' rules.  The graduate would need a very large deposit AND have some to pay the legal fees.  Like I said, prices are probably going to come down until they reach a level that people can sensibly afford.

I'll be honest and admit I have no idea how the part buy-part rent system works.  Obviously the total outgoing must be considerably less than the mortgage would be on the true value of the property, but I do wonder how the difference is made up.  Rents can only be lower than the mortgage outlay if the money borrowed (by the housing association) to buy the property is much less than it's value. 

The rise in the number of properties available by this method shows how unaffordable property has become to vast portions of society.  Maybe we should be doing like our continental cousins, where renting is the norm.  It's only in the past 50 years or so that owning your own home has been attainable by the vast majority of the population.  Before then this was only for the rich.  Are we back to this?  Do we want to be back to this? 

I must admit that, having sampled renting and ownership, I prefer ownership.  We can decorate how we want, rip out a fireplace that we don't like (or a kitchen or a bathroom) and, unless we are being repossessed (or compulsorily purchased to make way for a new road), we are not beholden to our landlord's whim as to how long we can stay there.  My home is my security blanket (apart from my family, of course).  It is here waiting for me when I get back from work.  It is somewhere I can shut the door and keep the world out.  I can put my feet up and relax.  It is comforting, and I'd hate to lose it.  That doesn't mean I'll never move from here.  Far from it, I have some very definite ideas of where I'd like to live.  It's that I am not constantly aware that the next letter from the landlord could be the 'adios' letter.  This place is mine for as long as I want it.

Well, this has been a meander through the world of property possession, hasn't it.  I hope you followed it.

Take me to Vegas!

Last night hubby and I, accompanied by 4 friends, went to a Charity Ball.  My friend, and ex-Pampered Chef boss, Debbie Casey is raising funds for Women for Women and last night was the finale in her fundraising efforts so that she can go on a bike ride through China to raise money for and awareness of this charity's work.  If you would like to donate, click here.

Back to last night.  The food was very nice.  I discovered I like melon, the yellow-skinned green flesh variety, and creme brulee.  During the evening there was a 'spot prize'.  One chair in the whole room had the W4W logo tacked under the seat.  Me, me, me!!!!  For that I 'won' a bottle of pink fizz.  That'll go down nice at my birthday next month.  During the meal Debbie's girls were doing a tombola.  They had a bag of home-made tickets, carefully sealed, and some had prizes.  We had 3 tickets and won a bottle of pineapple Malibu and £30 of vouchers for a Mediterranean restaurant.  The latter will go down nicely on our week's holiday next month.  We weren't quite so lucky in the auction.  The bidding for 4 tickets to watch Hampshire v Durham AND a signed Hampshire CC shirt went beyond our limit, so we didn't win anything there.  Then the raffle was drawn.  I had my eye on the 'Finger Buffet for 25 people' as it would come in very handy for said birthday.  Unfortunately it was not to be.  Instead I won a one night stay in an Executive Suite at the Hamble Retreat, 2 miles from home.  Very nice, indeed.

Fortunately that was it; it was beginning to get embarrassing.  There must have been 100 people there, many of whom left with no prizes at all.  And then there was us with a bagful.  But it would have been just as much fun if we'd won nothing at all.

What's going on at the moment

Yesterday afternoon I had another session with my life coach friend, R.  We talked about my future plans with particular respect to job-hunting.  I told her that it was on hold for now as I was having difficulty dealing with the constant knockbacks/no replies.  She helped me to see that there is nothing wrong with making big efforts to find a job then taking a few weeks off when the constant failure gets too much.

We also discussed my personal brand - or, the image I need to project to get what I want.  We have made plans to go shopping in a couple of weeks to look at, and maybe buy some 'sharp and professional' business attire.  Needless to say, A is already going a bit pale at the thoughts of it all.  I have promised to be good and be more Primark than boutique.  I am also considering getting my CV professionally done. 

The plan was to start job hunting towards the end of September, assuming that my current contract finishes at the end of August.  Well, this afternoon I got a call from an agency asking if I was prepared to look further afield for jobs - as in Poole or Andover - and the answer was 'not that far'.  Anyway, the job they sent me for 3 months ago (the one I never heard back from, and they never phoned me back about) became a different role, one which I wouldn't have gone for (and neither did anyone else who they interviewed).  This business have decided to fill this vacancy in-house from their sales ledger team, leaving a vacancy.  So, I asked this job agency to get me in for that one.  This agency don't generally handle jobs paying less than £14K (lucky them that they can be so choosy).  I explained to them that this is an unrealistic wage for someone with AAT Level 2 but no proper work experience; somewhere around £12K is more appropriate.  I repeated that I was interested in the position and could be negotiable on salary - apparently the company likes a bargain.  We'll see what happens.  I might just go on to the company's website direct and see what's what.  Looks like I'm in the job market again.

I am a good mummy

Why?  Because I have made waffleberry pie for pudding.  If there is one dessert guaranteed to get my family's attention and undying affection, then this is it!  D has decided it must be a healthy pudding as it has berries in it.  I countered that with it must be really bad for you as it has loads of cream in it.  Are you drooling yet?  Here's the recipe.

And to thank me for my largesse K is cooking dinner - ham and mushroom pasta bake.  I might suggest some garlic bread to go with it, but might not having just been shooed out the kitchen.

A is working late tonight, and doesn't read this blog, so he doesn't know what he's missing.

Did you see......

....... The Bionic Vet last night?

This is the man who operated on Scoobs nearly 4 years ago, performing a dorsal laminectomy to help my boy walk properly again.  It was a rather intense convalescence, as I was supposed to limit his activity for a few weeks yet the stupid mutt decided that trying to jump a 2 foot garden wall was much more fun.  AARRGHHHH!!!!!!!  It DID fix the lameness and occasional stumble but left him with a slightly wonky tail.  Compared to the alternative - accidental severance of the spinal cord - it seemed a small price to pay.

This was taken about 6 months after surgery.  Isn't he happy?!

All was well for a couple of years before the symptoms returned.  Another visit to Noel showed that not only was scar tissue forming at the old op site and compressing the spinal cord again, but that a pinch point (caused by a bulging vertebral disc being directly under a bony overgrowth of arthritis) just below the neck was also causing problems.  Given that Scoobs was 9 by then we all decided that his age was definitely against him and we should, instead, take a palliative approach to his care.  A & I must have done something right as we had another fun-filled (and very expensive) 15 months with our wonderful hound.

Noel can come across as a bit gruff but his heart is most definitely in the right place and he is dedicated to the animals in his care.  I have seen him become distressed after being unable to help a dog (and having to PTS on the operating table).  I have seen him pull an 18+ hour shift (at the old place) when the portable - on the back of an artic - MRI broke and it took several hours to get a replacement.  Did he cancel everyone?  Nope, he stayed there till past midnight making sure every animal got the scan they were there for.  He understood the anxiety being there was putting on the pets and the efforts we owners went to to be there in the first place, not to mention the nervous fits caused by our beloved animals going under a general anaesthetic.  General anaesthetic is inherently more dangerous for animals than humans, especially the elderly kind like our pooch was.

So, hats off to the man!!!!  If I ever have another dog, not that I'm planning that right now, and it needs neuro-orthopaedic help, he will be the one I expect to see.

Fats - the good, the bad and the downright ugly

Two posts in one day!  Scary, huh?

I know my blog is daily reading for thousands  a few of you, so here's my latest health warning.  (Or rather, my only one apart from be safe in the sun).  There was an article in The Times on Saturday, in their Weekend supplement (I can't link to it as they expect you to pay these days), concerning trans-fats and their closely related cousins hydrogenated fats.  Apparently these are the seriously bad boys of the fat family, being blamed for the dramatic increase in levels of heart disease, certain cancers, strokes and diabetes.  These are only the things we know about at the moment; this list may well grow over the next few years.

Now I'm normally quite sceptical about government advice on what is bad for me to eat, but if you could read this article you would see that our government, unlike the US, aren't saying much about banning these fats.  In fact, the UK Food Standards Agency thinks that legislation would be "unlikely to deliver any significant health benefit" as our intake levels are "approximately half that of recommended levels".  Hmmm, the government want us all to eat healthily, lose weight, get more exercise, reduce type 2 diabetes and heart disease, yet there's no reason to bring in legislation to ban the stuff.

Over in the States, whole areas have outlawed these fats in restaurants, whilst in California (ever the extremist on the health front) has intoduced a state-wide ban.  Any food manufacturer who wants to keep their market share over there has removed it from their products.  Are you outraged yet?

Trans-fats are made by processing polyunsaturated fats.  These types of fat are runny at room temperature and quickly go rancid.  By adding hydrogen to them - no you're not getting a complicated chemistry lesson on how this happens, it just does OK - their structure is altered and they become partially hydrogenated vegetable oil.  This gunk can be found in many processed foods including, but not limited to, popcorn, chips, cakes, biscuits.  If you want to avoid it, and who wouldn't, look for products that are labelled 'all butter', or are made with a different fat.  You should avoid anything that has 'vegetable fat', 'shortening', 'margarine' or 'partially hydrogenated vegetable oil/fat' in the list of ingredients.

So that's the ugly out the way.  The bad could be attached to saturated fats, and until recently it was.  Although it still shouldn't be consumed in great quantity it is less harmful than trans-fats.  Saturated fats can be found in goods such as milk, butter, meat, some nuts and cocoa butter.

The good fats are the unsaturated fats, both poly- and mono-.  Poly-unsaturated fats are the omega-3s and omega-6s.  The ideal balance is 3 x 3s to 1 x 6s.  Polys can be found in seeds, nuts and oily fish.  If these aren't prominent in your diet it might make sense to take a supplement.  Monos can be found in avocado, olive oil, eggs and lamb, amongst other things.  Here at Dark Corner we do all our stir-fries in olive oil.

I've already discussed it with he who thinks he's boss (unless it's Sunday when it IS his turn) and I've bought some butter today, along with a butter dish - a proper pot one.  All I need now is to work out if I can fry chips in olive oil, or whether sunflower oil is ok.  Don't anyone mention oven chips, not unless you can recommend ones that taste like the real thing instead of cardboard/sawdust sweepings.

I hope you all find this of some use.

Hi there

I've been very busy living life - again.  Sorry, but it keeps getting in the way of the blogging.

Anyway, I have news on the job front.  I have lowered my hours to 3 days per week.  Now the balance feels right; I can get my housework done, see friends, not feel guilty for vegging on the sofa for a few hours if the mood takes me, etc.  This has made me much happier in myself, though I still get stroppy at the others if they don't pull their weight.  (It took me a lot of blood, sweat and tears to get them this far.  I'm not letting it slide now).

I also have news on the studying front.  After much discussion with my nearest and dearest (and his dad) I have decided to go back to college in September to do AAT Level 3.  I'm even going back to Fareham College!  Some of my friends from this year's course are going back so I decided to join them.

Oh and my dad turned 70 on the 18th.  I'll put up some photos when I get a chance.

New Blog

Hi all

I have started a new blog for my annual skin problems.  You can find it here.

Thank goodness for that!

I shall probably get lynched for this but can I be the only one who thinks that the standard of play by England at the World Cup was abyssmal.  Everyone seems to be calling for the coach's head.  Yes, it was his tactics and strategy planning, as well as some questionable squad selections, that didn't help but, at the end of the day, there were 11 men on that pitch, wearing the England colours, who are supposed to be the best this country has to offer.

Don't make me laugh!  I've seen more enthusiasm at a Saturday afternoon kick-around on the local park.  They all looked as though they had better places to be.  I suppose when you earn tens of thousands of pounds each week no matter what the result is there's not much incentive to put heart and soul into it.  I wonder what sort of win bonus would get their attention.

The people I feel most sorry for are those fans who spent thousands of pounds, possibly that could have been better spent elsewhere, to travel to watch the squad.  I bet some of them spent as much as one of our 'footballers' earn in a week, PLUS these fans had to make their own travel arrangements - none of this first-class all the way malarky our boys expect and receive.

The media have their part to play.  Not, though, for criticsing the team - because that was right and proper given the display - but for whipping up the public (like they do with every British sports man/woman/team who show even a hint of ability) into believing that the World Cup is ours for the taking.  England were very good during their qualifiers so maybe this hype was deserved this time.  The only criticism the media made that I think was out of order was their castigation of our poor goalie who fumbled the save against the USA.  We all make mistakes.  Do you hear them making the same hoo-haa about Wayne Rooney, who can't find the back of the net (his primary role in the team) with a map?  No, of course not.

And who in their right mind picks players who are still recovering from injury, or are injury-prone?  It's hardly rocket science, is it, to pick people who are on top of their game.  You have to wonder what was going through Capello's mind:- let's pick strikers who haven't scored in 3 months; let's pick a goalie whose team has just been relegated - and as the last man before the net must have had a part to play in their losing so much; let's pick players who haven't played for their country in a while - because they have loads of international experience.  If those sort of decisions are the 'right' ones then here's a quick note to the FA - if you would like to save a shedful of money AND allow the coach to make howlers like this, then pick ME.  I promise not to ask for more than £50,000 per year plus expenses.  I also promise to drop the big names if they play like they did in the World Cup, I don't care who they are.  You'll find that this will give them an incentive to do the job they are paid to do. 

Out here in the real world we get sacked or demoted if we apply ourselves to our jobs in that way.  Maybe there should be a (very) basic salary with the rest of the pay made up of performance bonuses.  That would also provide an incentive to 'get on with it', and would make the vast majority of the rest of us feel a little less aggrieved when, once again, our team is made to look less than ordinary.

The things you see

This week hubby and I took a walk along the sea front at Hill Head.  We parked near Titchfield Haven and walked right round to the main carpark and back.  On the way back hubby spotted a hawk hovering just behind some beach huts.  By the time I'd got the camera switched on, zoomed in and the focus on the hawk it had dived.  Muttering naughty things under my breath I put the camera away only to have the hawk fly not 10 feet from me, with its prey, and land about 50 feet behind me on the stump of a breakwater.

Being the brave soul that I am I got the camera out again, switched it on and started snapping, moving forwards 5 feet or so after a few shots.  Eventually the bird spotted me and shot me a nasty look so I stayed still and took a few more shots.  Here's the best one - if you don't like to see half-eaten corpses don't look.

This image has been much fiddled with, using Paint Shop Pro, to bring out the clarity and sharpness as my camera lens isn't powerful enough to get up close. 

I'm beginning to pine for a camera with changeable lenses, so that I can get really close to nature.  At the moment the blue tit parents are feeding their fledged babies in the trees around my garden.  Those birds NEVER keep still for more than a second or two, barely long enough to focus in.  And it's a pain trying to get close enough to get a close-up without them seeing you and flying off.  Anyway, here are my best efforts.

The top image was taken just as the parent bird took off.  The bottom image is of a baby.  Amazingly, the babies can fly but still need their parents to feed them.

Then to cap it all, yesterday I saw this.

They flew right past me, far too busy playing at piggy-backs to notice my presence.  The one on top was really buzzing his wings.  The pitch kept changing and got quite high at one point before stopping completely for a few seconds before starting again.  All I can say is, lucky them!

Doing too much, and other interesting insights

Maybe I was trying to do exactly that.  Needless to say, thanks to a good chat with hubby, things are a-changing.  I am reducing my hours at work down to 3 days and, once the exam is done (this coming Tuesday), 2 weekdays at home.  This gives me a 4 day 'weekend' to get caught up on all the chores.  It also means a return to some lovely home-cooked-from-scratch dinners.  And I'll have more time to catch up with friends.  And I might be able to find the time to keep this blog up, instead of letting it drift like I have for the past few months. 

You see, there was a rumour at work that my services would be required up to September and there's no way I can let my outstanding 'big' chores list (total spring clean, decorating, etc) go on till then.  So tomorrow, for the first time in many months, I will NOT be going shopping tomorrow (Saturday).  I've never liked doing that - too many people.  So I'll start going on Mondays (or Tuesdays).  I might even stop feeling guilty for having a lie in at the weekends.

I've also decided to stop job-hunting.  It's soul-destroying to get no joy.  I've had 2 interviews this year out of nearly 50 job applications.  Once the economy picks up, and there's not so much competition, I'll try again.

I have enjoyed my time at college and I'd like to do the Level 3 course at some point in the future.  However, I think I'd like a job in that field so that I can have some experience of what I'll be learning.  Plus the distance learning version will set me back about £800, once you've allowed for things like books, exam fees, AAT annual fees, etc, etc, etc.  Makes you wonder what you're paying the course fee of £670 for, doesn't it?! (Yes, the £800 includes this £670).  For a mere £650 I can go back to the Open University and do the next course on my list - M208 Pure Maths.  No extra fees (apart from posting some tutor-marked-assignments back).  Plus I LOVE pure maths. 

Right now I want to spend the next 6 years or so finishing my Maths degree.  The only issue is, what do I do with it?  Most people assume I'll go into teaching.  Not a hope!  I'd rather go into a research role - being left alone to discover new and wonderful things in the world of numbers.  Not much money in that, though, but a heck of a lot of job satisfaction, not to mention the absolute delight at going to work each day.

Anyone want a middle-aged, enthusiastic, willing to learn, number cruncher?

This working woman's lot is not a happy one

I feel worn out.  It's not tiredness - as in could fall asleep anywhere.  It's a total loss of energy/go/drive (call it what you will).  Let me give you a bit of history to help put it all in context.

 I last worked outside the home full-time in June 1991, which is when I quit to be A's company secretary - aka money for nothing much.  Since then I have done the full-time housewife/mother routine, and let no one tell you that it is the easy option.  You work just as hard but don't get paid.  Then in April 2004 I started home educating D and we were joined, in October 2005, by K.  Our life had a certain routine - certain activities happened on certain days, etc.  Then in September 2009 I had no kids 'at home'.  They were both at college.  I was left to find a new role.  I dabbled at finding a job but my heart wasn't really in it.  A couple of friends suggested I take up a local job agency's advert for exam invigilators.  After all, I was doing it for free for the local home education group.  This led to odd days of basic admin work.  Then, the NHS job came along.

I was originally sent in for 3 hours a day for 3 days.  No problem.  The money wasn't as much as I'd earned previously but it would be a new experience.  That was in early February this year and I'm STILL there, doing 4 full days per week (the 5th day being at college doing AAT).  Suddenly I had to find time to do the housewife/mother stuff.  The kids are helpful but pretty much only when told what needs to be done.  And, for the most part, the same can be said about A.  Admittedly he's finally worked out how to use the washing machine - assuming he remembers to do any - but he's never voluntarily dusted or hoovered (dust allergy so unfair to expect it), cleaned the bathroom, ironed, taken on the weekly shop (unless I am not in a fit state, when I usually go for a delivery service), made sure the kids are doing their chores properly (ok, maybe occasionally but usually when I have nagged him to make an effort); and hardly ever worried about things like making sure we are ready for Christmas, birthdays, etc.

Some people were quick to point out that he works SO hard and I (until February) was at home all day, so therefore it was my job to do all that.  And I did it all with barely a moan.  But now I WORK TOO.  And to be honest it just feels like if I don't ask someone to do something then no-one else but me can see it needs to be done.

In recent times (the past few years) I have been having a few issues with my memory and processing - things  slipping my mind, and using the wrong word or getting them the wrong way round - and things have been getting worse in the past year or so.  Stress seems to make it worse.  I've had a few stressors at work lately.  A suggests that if work is getting me like that I should quit.  Now, I know he means that exactly as he says it, but there is a part of me that wonders if his subconscious would then feel less guilty about relying on me to remember everything/notice everything that needs doing.  He'd deny it, and I'd feel bad about accusing him of this; honest, it's just me feeling a misery guts.  A has never been any good at remembering things.  I know that but my issues are getting to the stage where I can't be trusted either, and I can feel myself getting more worked up trying to make sure that I don't forget things (because A is bloody useless at it).

Hands up who can see who's going to deal with the lion's share (or even all of it) of when FIL moves down here.  And keep those hands up if you think that, whilst I'm up in Nottingham sorting that end out, bugger all housework-type stuff gets done down here.

Good things come to those who wait

Today, amongst other things, I decided to make a start on 12 gallons of home-made wine.  That's right, 72 bottles of the stuff for less than £20.  I didn't have enough demi-johns to put all 12 on at once but figured I could get 6 under way.  I started 4 gallons about a year ago and kind of fell out of love with the whole idea so left them to their own devices.  Today, two of them had no water in their airlocks - important for keeping the air out and stopping the contents turning to vinegar (wine + oxygen = vinegar).  So imagine my suprise when all 4 gallons are perfectly palatable!  They do need racking (filtering) off their sediments and leaving to settle for a few weeks, then bottling and leaving to settle for another week or three.  Should be ready for drinking by end of June.

The ones I started today are 'quick' brews, meaning about 8 weeks from start to finish.  So I should have at least 35 bottles to see me through July/August.  I will have to get some more demi-johns to make a start on the remaining cartons of fruit juice.  A friend has a birthday in mid-August and I have been asked to provide the booze!

Between a rock and a hard place

Please bear in mind that I have a cold and am feeling less than 100%, and the knock-on effect on my ability to ignore/dismiss annoying people.

There is someone at work who is getting on my nerves.  This has been getting worse over the past week (which is roughly how long I have been coming down with/suffering from this cold).  She is constantly whinging about how she doesn't like her job now her team have merged with ours; this, that or the other isn't right; doesn't like all the phone answering/door buzzer answering/myriad other things that interfere with her ability to concentrate on what she has to do.  However, she doesn't whinge when the current acting Admin Co-ordinator is in the office.  She, and her colleague from the same previous office, can't cope with all this so when they have something that requires total concentration they go off to a different office for some peace and quiet. 

Now yes, to a point, I can understand it BUT not for one second does she consider that we others are in the same boat (and by buggering off like that our disturbances are increased).  There have been times that I have been doing something that I could really do without having to deal with incoming phone calls.  Does that count?  Does it hell!  I still have to deal with them and then try to re-focus on what I'm doing.

This morning I was doing something clerical with some client files and she knew I wasn't at my best.  However she was far too busy whinging to her colleague about how she hates her job now and doesn't want to come in (interspersed with actually doing her work), whilst I was answering the phone, taking messages AND e-mailing said messages to the correct recipients, all the while with a client's file 'in bits' all over my desk (burying my keyboard/mouse/pen/paper to boot).  Let's just say that by lunchtime I had had enough, burst into tears, played on feeling rotten and asked to come home.  We all have gripes about the 'new order'.  It doesn't help when the senior manager keeps taking systems that work and making changes, without considering the knock-on effect to our workloads.  If I'm honest my workload is the least hectic - it has its moments though - as I am not fully trained on all the in-house systems and therefore cannot do some of their work for them.  Plus my primary role is as phone answerer.  But I have just about had enough of keeping my mouth shut when she starts her whining.

I really don't want to go back there, purely because of this.  Yet it looks so much better when applying for jobs if you already have one than if you are unemployed, so I don't want to quit.  It's a temp position which will last for who knows how much longer and I'd really like to see it through to its conclusion if I don't land a permanent role elsewhere first.

So, do I stay and try my best not to blow a fuse big-time or do I walk and, although still with my temp agency, deal with maybe being between positions when applying for jobs.  I don't like the idea of walking as it can be seen to be taking the easy way out, plus what do you say when asked at interview, but it's playing havoc with my nerves.

A quick catch up

My UV-induced rash has started up.  That'll be me looking like a case of measles (hands and arms only, hopefully) till towards the end of October.  Hey ho!  Hence the feeling slightly miserable.


There's no news on the job front.  Not even a phone call to say "we don't know anything", which is quite rude seeing as I have been sending e-mails and calling only to be told that someone will call me back later the same day.  This is through a different agency to the one that currently employs me, not the company that was advertising the job in the first place.  Hence the feeling slightly miserable.

My brother has the results back from his mole biopsy.  Whilst not the worst news, there are definitely cells that have changed from 'normal' so, like me, he has to be careful.  Hence the feeling more than slightly miserable.

Normal service might be resumed this week.  (And before anyone gets excited I'm not THAT miserable, just bl**dy tired).

What a lovely weekend

The weather was warm and sunny.  Not sure if I've had a skin breakout - probably, but let me kid myself for just a few weeks more, eh?

We got a load of jobs done in the garden.  I had 2 wonderful labourers.  They did a lot of lifting and breaking (old terracotta plant pots to make drainage chips for my new planters).  K & I filled said planters and planted seeds in them.  A then set up the watering system.  Fingers crossed, we will have loads of vegetables.

Yesterday A & I went down to the sea front.  There were lots of yachts out doing their thing, and one whose owners were enjoying the view.

Today, whilst not strictly the weekend, I was up at 7.00, in Makro by 8.15 and home by 9.10 to put the second load of washing out.  Then I put away all my Makro shopping, tidied the cupboards under the sinks in the bathrooms, hoovered the stairs, and hoovered and tidied the big cloak cupboard by the back door.  By 11.30 the third load of washing was out.

Then I decided it was ME time so got out the camera and played with some of the settings.

I think Spring is here

Finally!  The weather has chosen to be more seasonal this week.  I have been going on walks at lunchtime as I always feel in a better mood after.  This afternoon all 4 of us got stuck into some gardening.  Earlier K and I had decided that some big planters would go nicely under the kitchen window.  They're big enough for me to put carrots, lettuce and peppers into.  The carrots and lettuce are sewn directly into the planters.  The peppers are in seed trays in the house - in my new plastic mini-greenhouse.  It's too cold at night to put them outside.

Speaking of the mini-greenhouse (which K managed to put together pretty much single-handedly today), the kids planted broccoli, tomatoes and French marigolds earlier this week, along with the peppers.  The broccoli are already through.

I'll probably have too many plants so if anyone locally has too many of their plantings and would like to swap form an orderly queue - otherwise known as LET ME KNOW.

And to round off a lovely day A got the BBQ out to cook tea on.  Mmmmmmmmm.  Did I ever tell you how much I love that man.

A quick update

Cos there's not really much happening.  The kids are on Easter Break from college.  I'm still slaving away.  Hubby is too. 

These last two are quite important as we have seen a really nice kitchen.  It's not on his our list of things to do this year, but I live in hope.  I've been living in hope for 12 years.  And, strangely enough, we saw it in IKEA.  Now, we don't do IKEA.  We had a look round one some years ago and were unimpressed with what was on offer (and the price they wanted for it too).  Yesterday we were wandering round Southampton when hubby decided that it might be nice to see if they're still as bad, given that EVERYONE thinks they're fantastic/must have.  So now we are of the opinion that they do have some nice stuff at a reasonable price but some of their stock is still 'not us'.

I did see a nice dining table - £159 and can sit up to 10 people - but the chairs are extra (£35 each).  I reckon I can get away with just 6.  Our current dining table, which we've had for less than 10 years, has warped and the knots are becoming proud.  Also it doesn't clip together very well, both adding and removing the extender leaf.  And it's too big really.  It didn't look that big when we bought it.

Oh and yes we did buy something in IKEA, a new loo roll holder to replace one that broke off.

Not the best news

Remember this post?  Well, Susan got her results yesterday and her IBC is back.  Why not go over to her blog and learn more about this most aggressive form of breast cancer, and give her a virtual hug at the same time.

Follow up

Remember my post from a couple of days ago about drowning my mouse?  Well, today we tried it and IT HAS DRIED OUT AND IS NOW ALIVE AND WORKING!!!!  Forgive the shouting but at least the management will now have one less excuse to be mad at me.  (They do have one or two - lack of reverence to their position being the main one (just because you're a manager doesn't mean ALL your decisions are righteous).

Army of Women

Are you, or do you know of, someone who has been affected by breast cancer?  Maybe you don't but would still like to 'get your hands dirty' helping out with research into the causes of this killer.  If one of these fits you, go to the Army of Women website and register.

They're a research group looking for volunteers for studies into the causes and treatments of breast cancer.  At the moment the vast majority of the studies are based in the US.  However, they are looking to expand round the world so spread the word.  This nasty disease kills thousands of women each year.  If we all did our bit, just think of how many lives would be postively affected by this - the women afflicted, their families and their friends.  Millions of people's lives would no longer be blighted.

Go on, you know you want to!

I did a silly thing today

I drowned my mouse at work today.  I managed to tip a full mug of tea all over my desk, and my mouse and keyboard got most of it, closely followed by my trousers.  The mouse is now defunct.  The keyboard and my trousers are redeemable.  So, it turned out, was the new employee information that was on my desk ready for posting to personnel by recorded delivery.  Fortunately the ink didn't run, making it illegible, and the Senior Management type who had given it me to take care of wasn't unduly upset either.  PHEW!

I call it the flip side to me having a bright idea and acting upon it, receiving praise all round.

Hugs for a friend please

I've been following this blog for a couple of years now.  Susan had both breasts removed due to inflammatory breast cancer.  This past week she has had a PET scan - clever machine that shows up where lots of cellular activity is happening - due to pain and discomfort.  Six lymph nodes showed up.  It could be an infection or yet more cancer.

Go on over to her blog and give her a hug.

That's my fix for a while

What a night!!!!!!  Absolutely fantastic!!!!! 

If you ever get the opportunity to see The Bon Jovi Experience you should. Two hours of hits and it cost us a tenner each.  Be warned though, it's very loud.  We both have varying degrees of deafness today.

The lead singer has more than a passing resemblance to the real thing.  Scary, huh?!

The rest of the band, really not so much like their counterparts.

Ooh I'm so excited!!!!

Hubby and I are going out on Saturday night.  We're going to see Bon Jovi on the cheap.  Bearing in mind Jon and the boys are coming to the O2 arena in June and the tickets are £45 - £200+, the £10 each we're paying for Saturday's gig in a little club in Southampton is better value by far.  Of course we're not actually seeing Bon Jovi themselves (boo, hiss) but we ARE seeing a decent tribute band.  Decent enough that Jon Bon Jovi has sung with them.  Click on the link and go to the audio/video link.

Can't wait.

ps  D is recovering nicely.  The black eye is almost gone.  However out dentist is on holiday this week so that's all on hold till Monday 15th.

Can someone tell me why?

On Friday D was coming home from college on the bus when he got into a discussion with another college student (A - nothing to do with his name) over whether yet another student should sit down.

A: Sit down, will you
D: Maybe she doesn't want to sit down
A: Whoever said that can suck my d*ck
D (standing up to his 6' 2 height): Wanna say that again?
A grabs D up near the throat
D grabs A similarly ready to push him away, having the longer reach
A thumps D in the face, once
Queue stunned silence on the bus
A immediately realises the OTT of his actions and apologises

D makes it home with a badly bruised eye and cheek, a cracked lower middle tooth and a broken off leaving a third of the original length tooth.

(photos taken today, 2 days after.  On the top one yes that is more bruising between the eye and the ear.  The lower one shows the tooth after the temporary patch/rebuild - 2nd from right - now at two-thirds its original size)


The dental bill is likely to be £500 - £1000.  I think, as D is a full-time student, there'll be nothing to pay.  However, I'm wondering whether to send a copy of the paperwork to A and try to make him pay.

Some out there may think we're being soft by not involving the police but, and you KNOW how warped some of the police actions have become, we wonder whether D's "Wanna say that again?" comment may be construed as incitement.  Besides D is not interested in pursuing it.

Oh shit!

It's my blog and I'll swear if I want to!

At the weekend I learned that my baby brother - 8 years younger than me - has a dark mole that itches and that he's having it removed tomorrow.  It was very quick from him seeing his GP to seeing the specialist to getting the date for removal - 3 weeks as far as I can work out.  This is the first time he's ever had to deal with his skin going off on one.  Me, I live with it due to dysplastic naevus syndrome.  Click on the link and scroll down the page to the relevant bit, but humour me and read ALL the page.

So far, I haven't had the dreaded words "I'm sorry Mrs B but it's malignant" despite having 3 moles removed on the 'better safe than sorry' principle - mine not the dermatologist's.

If you have any spare prayers, positive vibes, or similar going I'm sure he and his family will appreciate it.  He has a wife and 2 young children.

Thanks muchly.

A fairly quiet half-term (or at least for part of it)

I'm down to one child till next Saturday (20th).  K has gone skiing with Explorers.  They left last night and will arrive in resort - Bad Kleinkircheim - some time around now (5pm).  I have my fingers very crossed that she manages to stay upright at all times and I don't get an emergency trip to Salzburg.  K is dyslexic and dyspraxic so the chance of her misinterpreting an instruction or just plain falling over her own shadow are reasonably high.  However you have to let go sometime, and the scout leaders are all fully aware of her uniqueness, so I'm doing my best not to worry.  No doubt she'll have a blast.

I'm taking D up to Nottingham this week.  We're going to visit family and have a big family lunch on Wednesday.  Why?  Well D turns 18 next Saturday (20th).  OMG where did the time go!!!!!!  In the blink of an eye my little boy went from this

 

to this

He doesn't want a party so we're giving him some money to go out with some of his friends.  I am getting OLD!

Harlie

Harlie is a sweet little girl who has so much going against her.  At birth she had only a 5% chance of surviving but she's still here, proving everyone wrong.  Her heart stopped during her latest surgery on Thursday but she was revived.  Please could you keep her in your thoughts.  Click on her name to read more about her.

What do you buy.........

........ a young man about to turn 18!

D, my little boy, has a birthday a week on Saturday.  He doesn't know what he wants.  Or rather, the one thing he does want he knows he can't yet have.  He wants his own car which we are happy to buy him, but HE has to run it - pay the road tax, insurance, service, MOT, petrol, etc.  Seeing as he is at college full-time he doesn't have the money for that.  So we're all stumped.  He's not long bought himself a new phone; he's got an MP3 player, he has a PC, he has enough clothes - he's not a fashion junky; he doesn't want his bedroom decorating - it probably needs it but he's quite happy as it is; his hobbies are messing about on his PC and ten-pin bowling - and no he doesn't need a new ball.  Oh decisions, decisions.

We did consider a driving day at Thruxton but then decided that he probably needs another 2 - 3 years on-the-road experience to get the most from it.  We're giving him some money to go out with his friends - he doesn't want a party - and I'm taking him up to Nottingham to visit family and have lunch with them.

I should probably be counting my blessings that I have a teenager who doesn't have a wish-list a mile high, but I do wish he'd want something.

PS  As for me, I'm working hard.

MPs Expenses - or one rule for them........

Some years ago, when we were living in Nottingham, A got a job in Hastings.  The money wasn't to be sniffed at and the bungalow we found to rent was none too shabby either.  He asked the tax office if he could claim the rent back as a legitimate business expense and was told that it would be ok.  So we did.  We all lived there as a family (not that it would make any difference).

Several months later the tax office decided that claiming back this rent was NOT OK and they'd like us to pay the tax on what we'd claimed back from our business and they wanted it NOW.  I don't know about you but suddenly laying our hands on about £2K just like that was impossible.  The tax office begrudgingly gave us 3 months to pay it.  We were understandably upset but managed to do so.

We had to rent somewhere so that A could carry out his work.  He was then, and still is, an IT contractor so, to all intents and purposes, employed himself.  So we ended up paying a mortgage on our property back home - we didn't want to rent it out as it gave us somewhere to stay on our regular trips back to visit family and friends - and rent on this other property, AND two sets of bills - all out of our personal money.  None of it was claimable. 

So tell me, why should our MPs be able to get all expenses paid for their second homes?  We had to have a base for work-purposes 200 miles from our current house, yet WE had to fund it ourselves.  MPs don't need some flash pad in a posh area of London.  Westminster should build their own hotel with 600+ identical flats in there.  That should keep things down a bit.

And, yes, I think those 4 MPs/Lords members should be prosecuted.  If something feels morally wrong then, despite someone saying it's OK, you really shouldn't do it.  Their defence, that the Expenses Office approved them, is really no defence.  After all, we didn't let all those SS guards from the concentration camps use that sort of thing as a defence in their trials, did we.

Getting on with things

Just a quick post to let all my loyal followers - there's more than two of you, right? - know that I'm still alive.  I've not fallen out with anyone; it's just the job agency I'm registered with (for temping) has suddenly decided I'm a useful asset.  Therefore what starts out as a fairly low key week rapidly turns into a mad dash between contracts.

I love it!  So if I'm overdue a visit to you I apologise profusely.  You're on my list of things to do, honest.  Alongside revise for up and coming AAT exams, get stuck into some of the tedious but essential NVQ stuff associated with this course, give my CV the WOW!!! factor, housework (again, tedious but essential), sorting out who owes what at the home ed group (and finding the time to remind them - work keeps getting in the way), and sorting out the last few items of clothing for K's half-term ski trip to Austria with Explorers.  And if I'm really lucky I might find time to move this blog to Wordpress.  It takes a lot of setting up - for technonumpty me - but the usability is a lot of fun.  It took me all afternoon (at the weekend) to get the Running From Trouble blog set up, and 10 seconds to copy across all the posts from the blogspot version.

So if you see a demented woman, running between Fareham and Whiteley with a manic look in her eyes, it'll be me.

PS  Jill, the jacket is great!  Perfect image of the business woman.