Monday 26 July 2010

Let them be bored

I know some of my readers are home-educators but there may be some of you out there who are dreading the next six weeks, having to listen to your little angels scream "I'm bored!!!" all day long.  Either that or they're making your life a misery because you won't take them to a theme park twice a week, as well as swimming, bowling, ice skating, a trip to the beach, and other money-consuming wants. 

Today's children seem to have the instant gratification bug, wanting everything today and more tomorrow.  To their parents I say this, did your parents do all that for you when you were a child or were you encouraged to make your own entertainment.  And that didn't mean being stuck in front of the TV (or in this age, a computer or game console) all day, every day either.  Tell your parents that you were bored and I'd lay odds on the response being "tough!" or "so what?".

If you are already wilting at the thought of keeping them entertained and amused all holidays without having to take out the mortgage required to cover all what they'd really like to do, I have a few suggestions.
  • Let them be bored.  With a bit of luck they might actually (re)discover their imaginations and make up their own games.
  • If they say they're bored, give them a household chore to do and make them do it.  Next time boredom strikes they'll either ask if they can help with anything (you can hope) or they'll have hated it so much they'll put more effort into finding something to do that's more fun.
  • If they ask to go somewhere and you are willing to consider it, tell them that there are certain things around the house that need to be done first.  If they leave it all to you it will take too long and you won't be able to go.  If they help it will all be done very quickly and you'll have more time to spend doing that fun thing.
  • Limit those big days out to one or two for the whole holiday.  They'll appreciate it so much more (eventually).
  • Explain to them how much all these days out and activities cost and that you don't have all that money just lying around waiting for them to spend.
  • If they're old enough suggest an 'entertainment budget' figure for them for the entire 6 weeks.  If they go and blow it all on a day out, DON'T GIVE THEM ANY MORE.  This is a life lesson about budgeting and will do them good in the long run when they start to live an independent lifestyle.  You are doing them no good whatsoever by encouraging them to think that what they want is the only thing worth spending money on.
A good number of children expect their parents to just hand over cash for anything, and unfortunately there are a good number of parents who do - whether that be from guilt for both parents working, or to keep the peace because of the temper outbursts that follow if the parents say no.  If this is your child, ask yourself how they learnt to kick up a fuss to make you give in.  That's right, it's because that is what you have been doing since they were tiny.  "Ah, it's not nice to see him/her so upset" so the child gets rewarded for making a scene.  Whereas if you had stuck to your guns when they were tiny they would now understand and accept that no means no.

This is not a dig at anyone in particular, but a kick up the backside that some parents need to remember that their children are just that, children, and that whilst their wishes will be considered, the FINAL say is the parents.

3 comments:

Ffi said...

I totally agree with you. My children 2 and 6 have the best imagination ever and when faced with the I'm bored question by the eldest I always mention that she could tidy her room first.
BNMx

Anaya said...

I'm glad you agree. It is a topic likely to provoke intense debate. I get black looks from certain people I know who spend all their time moaning about how their kids don't do anything around the house and expect to be spoilt all summer. When I say "And whose fault is that?" they don't like it.

Some parents are reaping what they have sown.

Doxie said...

I could write an entire essay as a comment lol...but don't worry I won't...totally with you on this one! After having DS at home 24/7 for his junior and senior years and he being an only child ( read as no play mate to hand ) I find it both amusing and sad that some parents dread 6 weeks in the company of their kids.

Random mutterings on whatever takes my fancy. I used to Home Educate but my little angels are at college now so I'm 'redundant'. I'm just writing about everyday stuff. It's mainly light-hearted but sometimes serious. No offence is ever intended.