.......if you see me this week. Why? Well, today I have started my patch-testing sessions at the dermatology unit. My back is awash with micropore holding down swathes of allergen-coated metal discs. I am not allowed to have a shower till at least Friday night and with the weather being as seasonal as it is I'm going to stink to high heaven by then. Hence the need for a clothes peg for your nose if you have the dubious pleasure of being in the same postcode as me.
Also I'm not allowed to do anything which may cause me to sweat - which rules out pretty much everything whilst it's this warm! I can't do anything which would involve lifting or twisting the back so that I don't dislodge the micropore and introduce air/moisture to the patches. It's a good job my kids are domesticated. K made a delicious curry for tea tonight. All that was needed was for A to show her how to do rice when we got back from the hospital.
I caused great anarchy at the hospital. In my defence it was a case of left hand not talking to right hand. I had told the head derm that the sunlight causes a fair number of skin reactions with suncreams and perfumes, so I would have thought that someone would have picked up on the fact that photo patch-testing would also be required. This IS the NHS so, of course, no-one had. Fortunately the ladies who run the light treatment room remembered me and, after asking how I was doing after my sessions in February/March, bent over backwards to fit me in.
One stayed later this afternoon for my test session. It being a hot day I had gone in in t-shirt and capri pants with sandals. So this nice nurse fetched a pair of blue scrubs and a large roll of elastoplast and, along with a couple of towels and blankets, proceeded to mummify me - apart from my face (protected by UV goggles and a clear welders mask) and a small spot on my right buttock that got zapped by the UVA. I was a little put out to hear I was going to be zapped for 7 minutes! I'm not claustrophobic as such but do prefer not to be enclosed for that sort of length of time, especially in a mummy outfit - BTW, my arms were inside the scrubs top as there was no real way of covering them up. Somehow I made it through and became a bit sweaty, which isn't allowed is it?! Then tomorrow I get to go back (12 noon) and have some allergens applied to an arm, and then be zapped again (legngth and strength of zap to be determined by how today's test session reacts) for up to 7 minutes.
On Wednesday I go back at 3pm to have all the micropore bits taken off and my back decorated with indelible marker - to mark where the patches are so that reactions can be seen. I hope it doesn't take as long as today as I'd really like to be out before rush-hour kicks in. You see, on Wednesday Bon Jovi are playing at St Mary's football stadium which is less than a mile from the hospital (no, I'm not going, it's too expensive), AND Hampshire have their first 20-20 cricket match at the Rose Bowl that same evening. Some genius somewhere deserves a medal - NOT! The most popular junctions of the M27 for St Mary's are 5, 7 & 8, whilst the Rose Bowl is smack against junction 7 and it's Park & Ride scheme is at junction 8. Total gridlock will be the most likely outcome, so I am planning to return home via Fair Oak and Wickham.
I get a hospital day-off on Thursday (so far!) but D has his last GCSE paper in Portsmouth in the afternoon. I think we'll use the train.
On Friday it's back to the derm people at 3pm so they can assess what has caused a reaction. Hopefully they will tell me all about it at the same time. It'd be just my luck for them to say "We'll send for you in a couple of months when we've analysed all this". That'll be another summer down the pan, not knowing what suncreams I could try.
Then it's a nice long shower and hairwash, followed by taking D to sea scouts to see if he likes it. Seeing as the leader has told me to make sure he wears old clothes that can get wet and to take some spares I think D will be getting out on the water.
Anyone want to trade places this week?
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